When I asked my grandma how was grandpa – did he love you? Was he good to you? What special item he got for you that you treasure? Grandma’s answers were very soothing. Of course, grandpa always loved grandma. He was not perfect neither was grandma, but they lived happily together for many years, by being flexible. They both new each other’s weaknesses and never made a big issue out of it. There used to be small fights but it never dragged out. He bought her a saree (Indian attire) with his daily earnings (he was a priest back then), she wore it many times, and it ended up as a pillow cover and bed sheet for herself.
Grandma always comes across calm and happy, which she is.. and she is very composed. She always believed in simple life and high thinking. When we talked about Valentine’s day in front of Grandma and asked her what she thinks about love and relationship, long lasting marriage, Grandma spoke with so much wisdom. Listen what grandma has to say about love and meaningful relationship…
- A relationship always needs two factors: Being mutually loving and supportive.
- Doing things together you both enjoy, which make you feel more alive and connected.
- Sharing simple moments of togetherness, and enjoying the things you have in common.
- Learning from each other, embracing your differences, seeing how they may be complementary.
- External beauty is temporary. Go beyond external beauty, understand what the real soul is and how good the person is.
- Accepting each other as you are in the present moment and sharing what is ‘real’ for you.
- When you start dating (getting to know) someone, always try to have a good relationship with that person’s family. Marriage does not only happen between two individual, it also happens between two families.
- Keep helping each other to meet each other’s needs.
- There should be always a balance of giving and receiving between two.
- Being willing to be flexible and compromise sometimes. Stubbornness makes matters worst. Listen to partner and then give suggestion.
- Communicate with each other. Whatever may be the reason, never stop communicating with each other. Communication is the expression and receiving of the thoughts, ideas and feelings of another person.
- While connecting to new family, do not neglect your own family as family is forever. Keep your relationship with your siblings and parents and other relations. They know you better.
- The best traits that your parents possess are the ones that bring you comfort and peace and the feeling of security. Remember the qualities that you admire in your parents and look for that in a partner.
- Understand what your spouse job is like. You may need to make adjustments and small sacrifices in your daily habits.
- Learn some essential skills – when you get married, you will not live with your parents. You will have your own house. Learn how to cook simple foods, cleaning, washing, and driving, managing money and how to be a good host etc. It is for both not just for one of you – husband or wife.
- Discuss and talk to each other significantly. Understanding each other is very important. Try to sort out the difference and plan for things in life together.
- Your past is different. Do not bring your previous life instances in front of your partner and vice versa. You may not end up with the person you thought you were going to spend your whole life with and that is okay.
- Once you are in someone’s life, do not hide anything from your partner. If something, you did wrong or forgot to do something, admit it. Trust is a main factor.
- Do not show your frustration totally on your partner. He/she is not a punching bag. Always be open for a discussion. Do not blame your partner for no reasons.
- Feel free to speak your mind -about your lives, plans, money matters etc.
- Talk about health issues. When your spouse visits doctor accompany with him/her and listen to doctor.
- Appreciate and encourage small gestures. Never neglect your spouse in public and at home.
- If you have too many problems when you are seeing someone then the chances are it will get worse if you get married. The problem that looks very small may appear big after marriage. Understand what it is.
- Money matters – if you do not know learn and discuss. Never encourage for over spending.
- When you become a parent, always be conscious of how your kids will be affected by both parents’ behaviors. Don’t trash talk someone in front of children especially not if that someone is family. In addition, Harmony in relationship is important to make your children good humans.
- A foundation of faith is important for every relationship.
- If you are fond of volunteering, care giving, charity etc. discuss with your partner. Encouragement and support is critical for extra activities you chose after you marry. If you both like to participate in such work then go for it. Having something bigger to believe in is helpful in life.
- If you are happy with what you have then, it does not matter at all what people have to say about you.
- Do not spend time criticizing each other or anybody for that matter. Treat your significant other the way you would want someone to treat your future son or daughter.
Life offers many things – positive and negative. What we want may not be available or we may not get in our lives. Some contentment – with what we have and living with loving people around us should give us enormous strength to look forward for a happy life. We have one life to live and we should make the best out of this life by keeping a positive relationship with life partner and lead a meaningful life.
Source: Listen to grandma, www.werindia.com