Anger is type of emotion and a way of stress. It can do more harm to our body than we thought. The more we hold to anger, the more we express our anger – we burn ourselves more.
It can cause glaucoma, heart conditions, stroke, ulcers, blood pressure, muscle tension, back pain and you name it ! Similarly, it has a negative influence on our relationship with family members, friends, people at work or with people outside. It can do more harm – one can injure oneself or injure others physically. In other words, expressed or unexpressed anger has severe effect on one’s mental health. Studies have linked anger to loneliness, chronic anxiety, depression, eating disorders, sleep disorders, obsessive-compulsive behavior and phobias.
Common ingredients of anger:
- Unfairness – Seeing or experiencing unfairness and, cannot do anything about it
- Unhappiness – Not finding happiness with anything
- Jealousy -Jealous of something or someone’s success, status and comparing our status with them
- Not getting what we wanted -Things that we wanted is not available or not reachable
- Blame – Getting blamed for a reason or no reason
- Pain – Undergoing both physical and mental pain for various reasons that we cannot bear
- Assuming something- assuming something negative about someone or misunderstanding a person
- Imagining bad – Imagining something bad is happening and getting anxious and angry about it
- Problems – Unsolved problems can cause frustration and lead to anger
Why some people are more anger than others?
One reason may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Second reason might be socio-cultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we are taught that it is all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we do not learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.
It is best to find out what triggers your anger and develop strategies to control anger or express it in a way it will not harm you and others.
Some tips to manage anger in life:
- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.” Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply. Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination. No strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
- Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won’t make you feel better.
- Remember - Not all problems in life can be solved. Some problems will not go away – it is okay to feel frustrated and get angry in a healthy way. Do not hold on to your anger knowingly that problem cannot being solved.
- Better communication: Communication is key for humans. Anger can spoil this. Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. Even if you are angry, control yourself and remind yourself that “let me not conclude now”.
- Distraction: Whenever you are angry for any reason – distract yourself. Go out for a walk or sit in a place where your mind starts feeling better. Slowly start thinking about what is causing the anger. For sometime avoid the situation or avoid the person – if he/she is reason behind it.
- Humor and laugh: When you are angry with someone – imagine something funny about them in your mind – visualize and have a good laugh in your mind! It helps – for example think about a colleague who is not nice to you -as amoeba or a frog and visualize them hopping or swimming around. Then, let it go. Humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.
- Change environment: If you feel that you are trapped in an environment that is making you more angry and not helping your health – change the place. Go and visit someone who makes your happy. When you feel better – think what happened and get back to normalcy.
- Explore the emotions: If you feel that your anger is because of some type of fear and frustration – talk to someone whom you can trust and get advice. Don’t hesitate to get help.
- Learn to forgive others - This is because to calm down yourself and not to make other person happy. You don’t want to spoil your happiness by showing your anger for no fault of yours. Learn to forgive even if the other person is not apologetic. Let it go..
- Don’t expect perfection from all: If you feel that you are perfect and expecting perfection from others then, it leads to fight and anger. Remember -no one is born with a certification that says, “I am perfect”. Instead of getting angry -be fair to yourself and to others.
- Accept the facts: Remember that most things in the world are out of your control. If you try to continually, control your family, friends or circumstances you will find the result frustrating. Accept people for what they are. Do not try to change them. Change the way you look at the facts.
Here are some thoughtful quotes about anger:
- If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow – Unknown
- Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you end up getting burned -Buddha
- For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
- The broad general rule is that a man is about as big as the things that make him angry – Unknown
- When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred. -T. Jefferson
- Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor – Francis Bacon
- No matter what – never let your emotions (anger) over power your intelligence – Unknown
- Anger if not prevented can do more harm than the reason that provokes it – Unknown