Sibling rivalry

There is no surprise when more than one kid is at home there will be always fights, complaints, crying, arguing and jealousy between children.

This is natural and very rarely we find families where kids have understanding and continue to grow without arguments.

For many parents it is a dream. What parents should concern about is  sibling rivalry that might remain for life long.

Parents can teach and handle kids to make them understand what matters and how all kids are important to them.

The squawk and yelling starts at young age itself. When there is not much of an age difference between kids and one kid grabs another’s toy or other belonging fight starts. Sharing is a difficult thing for kids especially for elder kids to share things with new born or younger sibling. Elder kids does not like the feeling of negligence towards them. Neither they don’t like sharing attention to other sibling.

How to tamp down sibling rivalry? Here are grandma’s suggestions

• Give each kid one on one attention that is meaningful to her/him: Playing, watching movie, listening to music, story with them soothes them.
• Always set ground rules not to shout at each other or not to complain.
• Listen to both child when they still bring complain – understand each ones’ point of view
• Tell children to listen to each other – when one-person talk, the other must listen
• Ask children what could be the solution and how they would handle. Let them reason it.
• Tell children to exchange their role and be the other person for few hours to make them understand each other.
• As a parent you should stop comparing children. Stop labeling children. Don’t say “smart one” athletic one, wild child – this creates competition amongst kids
• Give individual attention and listen to each one of their story 10-20 minutes.
• Ignore – when you hear arguments, fights don’t jump to solve the issue. Ignore and give them a chance to solve the issue.
• When kids cannot reach an agreement and their flight escalates then step in. Without taking sides tell them to come up with solution.
• If they don’t listen and continue their fight, put them in the same boat and tell them the consequence of fighting – punishment or time out

Keep in mind, like all parents you are also raising your children. There is no need to compare yourself with other parents. One minute they play and next minute they fight and cry. It is a common challenge. The only thing you should be doing is trying to stop rivalry. If you need suggestions, ask other parents how they handle their kids. You may hear interesting story or get good suggestion.

Image credit: Photo by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash