Every year on February 14th there are many makeups and breakups happens in the world. Those who propose and find their love will feel happy.
For some, those who carry a rose or a gift thinking that the person who he/she loved is going to reciprocate there might be a bit shock when the person does not reciprocate and reject.
Yes, seriously it hurts and pains. The pain of losing, shame of rejection and losing self-confidence because one person denied can hurt someone’s feelings more than a physical pain.
Well… think you are not alone in this game of love. There are many such people who undergo denial and rejection.
There is no need to curse your luck or sit and cry thinking about what happened. World is big enough to give you another person who might be better.
Still.. it might take some time for you to come out from the sadness. Because real feeling does not go away easily – isn’t it? Then how to handle this heart break?
- Whatever happens, happens for good – This old saying always correct and helpful. Don’t you think it gives your confidence back and puts you back in right direction? Things happens for certain reason. If you think carefully about what happened, you might find that there is some positive news in it. Or you may not see the positivity during your sorrow. Later, definitely time will say it happened for good.
- Think it as their loss: When the person makes it clear that they don’t want the relationship, it does not mean that it is your loss. Rather focus on your positive attitude and how much courage you had to love a person who just rejected you. It means, it is really their loss and not yours. Why to worry about what we are missing. More than you, the person who walked away missed a lot…from you. Feel bad for them and not for yourself. Remember, just because someone don’t want you does not mean you are unlovable or unworthy. Their loss is someone else’s gain!
- You don’t have control over outcomes: To change the outcome you may try to do something. You may try to change yourself to attract and win the person again. You may dress or act like the person whom they find more attractive. You may even go to an extent to buy the love. None of these won’t work, rather you look desperate and unattractive. Instead of trying to convince yourself and the person, accept that you don’t have control on how other feels about you. Some may find you attractive and reciprocate your feelings. Some may not… the only thing you can control is yourself, your thoughts and your actions.
- Don’t compare your life to others: Comparing your darkest moments with others happiness is like stabbing yourself. You should not encourage yourself with such thoughts. You are wearing your shoes, not theirs. You may think how life is unfair to you, but you don’t know what the other person went through. Don’t assume and compare your life to others. It is waste of your time and cost you your happiness.
- Nothing to be embarrassed: At that point, you may feel you are an unlovable person and a loser. You may feel pathetic. There is absolutely no need to feel this way. You had the courage to approach a person to express your love and you did not expect the outcome. So, what? Be it… there is no guarantee that you will get what you want in your whole life. It is a small set back. All that matter is, you are brave and had the courage to express yourself which most does not. For this reason, you should not feel embarrassed and you should not distance yourself from the world.
- Distraction: For many, it is not that easy to come out from heartbreak. The best thing to do is finding a way to distract yourself. Get back to your hobby, spend time with folks who care for you and bring joy to you. Go to places, go for adventures. Watch comedy movies. Best antidote for the heartbreak is laughter and it will set you free! Try it out!! Don’t dwell in your past. Live in the present moment and look for positivity in present and future.
- Always be cool: This is called ABC! Mean, you must be cool and care less about what happened. Even though it feels impossible, try it out. Practice it in a positive attitude. When you don’t give up your self-confidence, naturally that “I couldn’t care less” attitude will come to you. You don’t need to chase the person, show them, you are okay and your life is fine without them. Go with your day to day life happily and always be cool.
- Don’t feel sorry for yourself: There is nothing wrong if you feel sad. You are a human and the rejection incident might sit in your heart and mind sometime. It is okay to feel sad sometime. It is okay to cry and shed tears! But, what is not okay is you feeling sorry for yourself. What makes you feels sorry for yourself is, continuous dwelling in that feeling and sadness for a longer time. To come out from the sorrow, spend time with those who lifts your spirits, who is willing to spend time with you. Spending time with family helps. Or take a trip with good friends and come out from sadness soon.
- What is yours will come to you: Not always things might work “eventually” even if you try many times. No one knows what happens in future. Having hopes is fine, however, while holding onto such hope you might lose out on other walks of your life. Bring back normalcy in life. In the future the person might realize and come back. But you should not give up happiness in your present life. Without waiting for the person to come back… go live your life.
Bottom line is “forgive, forget and move on”. Keep faith in finding another soul mate. Till then enjoy the life because life offers many beautiful things!
Author: Sumana Rao | Posted on: February 12, 2018