Sometimes feeling of anger is also good for you and you should be able to recognize the anger that you have at the moment is good or bad.
Feeling of anger can be good and bad. Bad anger feeling is the one that even can destroy a life. With bad anger, a person will enjoy seeing others getting hurt or in trouble.
With good anger (feeling), it is different – you know you did the right thing, you want to stand up for yourself and you might feel helpless. In these situations, you will end up getting angry with yourself. Good anger is the one that you should feel right about, before expressing yourself.
How to recognize these two feelings? Feeling of good, healthy anger vs. bad, unhealthy anger?
Anger is a secondary feeling that arises due to frustration, anxiety, fear and hurt. To distinguish between the two types of anger : Healthy anger that propels you to act to protect and promotes your growth and the bad anger that is destructive and destroys the growth.
A proverb says “If you are angry over something that someone did to you today… that’s on them. If you are still angry over the same thing a year later… that’s on you.”
Anger is a feeling and it is not an action. In other words, what you do with these feelings does matter.
Recognizing Healthy Anger – With good anger you can justify yourself with proper reasons. You will be able to control this type of anger because of your positive nature towards the person and situation.
- When someone whom you love demands something from you, you will find yourself in a situation that you will swallow your feelings for the sake of loved ones. You get annoyed but you will not show your feelings outside.
- When you feel that your loved one is saying something and you disagree with it and will hold back your words or you will talk to the person only inside your head and cannot say those words (to avoid fights).
- The anger that comes from expectation – you are fed up of doing something for someone all the time and you get sick and tired of doing stuff.
- Anger that comes out when you keep doing something to family and friends and in turn they don’t reciprocate or never attempts to understand your feelings and your wants.
- Good anger comes and goes fast – no one will get hurt.
Recognizing Unhealthy Anger: With bad anger you cannot reason yourself.
- You will feel strong and aggressive to shut someone down
- You will enjoy the feeling of victory over someone who try to appease you
- When someone does not give attention, you will feel enraged right away
- You don’t allow to let it go from your mind for a longtime and don’t feel like forgiving. This is the type of anger that spoils relationship and is toxic.
- The anger that often exhibits in a sudden fit of rage that stems from our selfish motivations and is generally characterized by a lack of self-control is bad.
- Some people are quick tempered for small, no reasons and this temper is bad.
- Often the bad anger leads to fights, spoils the relationship and destroys one’s life.
It is important to make a distinction between two types of anger feelings and chose what is good for our growth. That anger that is not motivated by selfishness and is characterized by self-control is good one and is the right one. It is also important to adopt proper strategies to control the anger to lead a balanced and peaceful life.