Have you ever wondered how our parents or grandparents are still together after so many years of marriage? We will find many examples where married couple even though they have opposite personalities and different views, still stay together and complete 50, 60 years milestones of their married life. Their marriage life is a success that they have achieved together. There are sacrifices, respect, unconditional love and care for each other that makes our elders bond strong. In a marriage there will be always adjustments that need to happen if you want to live together. These adjustments must be mutual. If there is an understanding between life partners, then things will work out.

No one is perfect and, in a relationship, both husband and wife must accept another person for who they are. Some changes that life partner expects can happen, but it may not be always the case. Each person has a personality and come from different background before bonding in a marriage.  Changes and adjustments must happen from both partners.

When a couple is getting ready to marry, they should not look at marriage as a thing and must not step into married life with a mindset of “it may work or not” or “when I want I can go back where I have come from”. It is better to sort out any differences and better to know what the other person is like before getting into a permanent relationship.

How our grandparents and parents lived together happily for so many years?

1. They have never taken marriage lightly: Marriage is commitment. If you are not sure of getting married, then wait. If you are marrying for the sake of your parents or sibling & peer pressure, then you might be spoiling your life as well as another person’s. Marriage is not just dressing up as bride and groom, it is also committing to be together for many more years. The relationship is not for next few years, it is for lifelong, for many years. It means accepting an imperfect person, raising children, sitting next to sick child, making changes in lifestyle, working together to build a home, sharing happiness and sadness. Marriage also gives a friend for lifelong. Marriage is for trust, faithfulness and commitment.  If you are not ready for any of these then, wait till you get ready mentally.
2. Understanding roles: After marriage, both life partners need to understand each other’s needs. Based on husband’s work, schedule and commitments and vice versa. If wife gets sick it is husband’s responsibility to take care of her, doing house work and helping children. Whatever the role of husband or wife both need to step in in each other’s shoe when it comes to responsibility.
3. Do not hold onto anger for longtime: No one is perfect and in married life there will be struggles, arguments and fights. Holding onto anger and treating each other badly or abusing each other with harsh words is going to make life miserable. Don’t hold on to anger for longer time. Remember-, marriage is a commitment and a promise made to be with each other no matter what. Forgive each other. Sit and talk about what triggered fight. It might take a day or two to understand the mistake but never stop talking to each other. Eventually, these fights will go away because of the understanding and trust that develops in married life.
4. Always send your life partner with a smile: Whether it is work, tour or stepping out for grocery, if your partner says bye, receive it and wish him or her with smile. Smile between the two life partners always helps to get through tough times. A smiling face that sits in mind keeps both happy for next few hours. Smile will have positive impact on each other’s life and gives strength, support and courage.
5. Finding joy in little things: Sharing everyday life with a smile gives joy. Whether working on household stuffs, planning budget, working in kitchen, cooking together, traveling, having cup of tea, helping children in homework or going out for a movie – enjoy every bit of your life with each other’s company. Once the children grow up and start their life, it is only the two – husband and wife who spend rest of the life together.
6. Everyday is not going to be a picnic day: Understanding that life is not always the way you want, and you might not like your life partner’s attitude or work is important in married life. Being realistic and accepting the other person for who they are might take time. Being open minded and giving importance to positive aspects of married life helps to lead happy life. Life is not going to be a picnic every day, it will have its ups and downs. Job stress, money issues, children issues, health issues, compromises that we might need to make against our will – several such incidents can happen. Listening to partner words with patience helps both. Do not rush finish discussions. Instead of giving up on life, focusing on positive aspects and helping each other could help marriage to survive for many years.  

Marriages are made in heaven, to continue in a marriage relationship both partners must put their heart towards make it success. It is important to consider and respect each other’s feelings to make it happen.

Image credit: Photo by Benita Elizabeth Vivin on Unsplash