Overcoming Shyness

Some people easily talk to people and they hang out well in parties. For some the thought of attending parties or gatherings is a nightmare. Because they cannot come out of their shy zone easily. People who are naturally shy by nature may overcome this struggle overtime with some help. For others it could be due to the negative experiences like bullying, negative self image, lack of exposure to social life etc., could be the reasons. How to overcome shyness and anxiety?

We all face social anxiety, shyness and lack of confidence in our lives.  Shyness also represents personal discomfort. It is important to learn and accept ourselves for who we are to come out from that ‘zone’. Once we learn to accept ourselves for our negative and positive attributes – we can bring that into our interactions with other people. This will also help us to overcome the shy nature and develops confidence.

To project ourselves better outwardly, we should first correct ourselves inwardly. Here are list of things one can try to correct and bring out the best.

Identify the problem:

• Think and identify those situations that make you shy
• Write those situations
• Think what happens to you when you face those situations.

 Stop telling yourself you are shy:

• Stop affirming your shyness. Stop telling yourself that you are shy for reasons that are not under your control.
• Omit the world “shy” from your vocabulary.
• Train yourself with some positive words and encourage yourself to have positive attitude.

With surroundings:

• Go in a surrounding where you feel comfortable and slowly go to places where you feel that it feels familiar.
• Always maintain healthy relationship with people and understand how people behave
• Try not to talk or be part of discussions if you feel it is uncomfortable for you.

Stop visualizing:

• When you are planning on a meeting or a discussion, stop imagining or visualizing about the meeting. Imagining about something which you don’t know will make you more shy when you enter the discussion.
• Experience the life as it is coming in our way at this moment and try understanding people in real time.

Coach yourself:

• Read inspirational quotes and stories to encourage yourself.
• Encourage yourself by remembering the hidden talents that you might have.
• If at all you want to visualize, visualize about your confidence and situations that you can be ready to face alone.

When you are with people:

• Approach people with a positive body language
• Do not worry about what other person may think about you.
• Look directly into the eyes of a person while talking and express yourself clearly.
• Do not worry about your look – think you are beautiful and world is ready for you.
• In case you start feeling shy then distract your shyness by participating in small conversation.
• Try remembering names of people when you are conversing with them. This will encourage the other person to talk to you more pleasantly.

Work on it:

• Try different ways – talk to a well behaved stranger, slowly come out from your shell to ask question and increase number of questions, talk to yourself in the mirror to learn and slowly work your way up to more and more uncomfortable situation.

 Friends & partners:

• Having a companion to attend parties and programs will help you to overcome your shy nature.
• Go with your friends who encourage you to come out from your shell.
• If you are invited for a party, ask if you can bring a friend.
• Go with a colleague who is also a good friend of you for a training or request them to accompany you.

Just be you:

• Wherever you go don’t try to be someone else. Trying to get into someone else skin can lead to disaster. It is always okay to take your time to overcome your shy nature. Appreciate yourself and your quirk nature.

Dress up:

• Dressing smartly helps you to build confidence. It will help put you at ease. Take few minutes to look at yourself in the mirror and dress according to the occasion.

Mingle with people:

• Talk to people at work, at school, college, events etc. Do not go with same people all the time. If you start clinging to someone you may not able to overcome your shyness.
• Try conversing with new people, if not, try saying hello, smile and introduce yourself.
• Accept your shyness and do not resist. The fear of being shy has to go away.
• Watch your body language – do not try to go back inside your shell, feel free to initiate a conversation and smile. Shake hands. Give hugs. Stay in close proximity to others.

It is natural for people to be shy to face world. The more we hide, the more we are away from success. Shy nature is good, but it should not stop us from achieving our goals. Overcome shyness by trying to do new things every now and then.  It builds confidence and reduces anxiety. Mingle with people, take part in discussion and express your views boldly. These steps will take you to a great success and will fulfill your dreams!

Image credit: Image by Alberto Adán from Pixabay